Ever Wonder Week #4

[Jennifer Grant]

I want to start by giving a BIG shout out and kudo's to everyone for stretching themselves out of their comfort zone and posting such intimate comments with this group! I'm sure you've noticed it has effected you more than you thought it would...expressing yourself or your thoughts and feelings through writing is sooo meaningful and therapeutic!!!

Ok...so here is the question for this week:

"Do you ever let yesterday fill up too much of today?"

[Shirley]

When I first read this, I think of how I can ruminate over "what if's" and "should have's". One of my resolutions this year was to live in the moment, so to speak. To give today and whomever I am speaking to, all of me. I have friends and family that seem to remind me that what happened yesterday is not necessarily the plan for today. That really helps. I believe God does have the plan...I need to just let Him map it out.

[Jessica Barnett]

It is personal, so you don't have to read. :) I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable.

http://jessicabarnett.blogspot.com/2008/04/woot.html

I think this tells that story pretty well. Something that happened years ago that is still affecting me. I am bothered by the actual event and more bothered that it still upsets me.

[fancyMelissa]

Jess- I had a couple of thoughts while reading your post. Honestly, I can't imagine going through that, but as you saw with Crystal's blog, you are not alone. Millions of women have suffered the same abuse. I wondered while I was reading it if it was cathartic to write that and post it for the world to read. I also thought that you might enjoy reading the book I talked about in my blog post. It's called A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle and is an Oprah Book Club book. In it, he talks alot about how to let go of the story of your past. I also thought that you might benefit by talking to a therapist . You are brave for writing that post. And I honor you for it. Thank you for sharing.

[Jennifer Grant]

Jess--couple things--

1. you rock for sharing--although I know its hard but more than it helps you, it helps others to read it from you...kwim?

2. i love ya and wish i could just hug ya and spend time hanging out!!!!!

3. you really have NO IDEA how much we really have in common---scares me really!

4. disappointed a bit that you only ripped up the pics and threw them in the trash. we could have had such a healing moment BURNING HIS ASS!!! (please excuse my cursing--i'm working on it ok??) lol

[Beth Kingston]

I just posted on your blog too Jess...but I agree that VERY OFTEN people let things that hurt us in the past take over our present. It took me a LOT of years to figure that out...but once I did my life became so much clearer!! The same will happen for you!!

[Jules Eickmeier]

Absolutely. It is hard to let go of the past sometimes. I try to put the past in prospective and profit from my mistakes and move on but this is not always possible. I think as long as we don't get stuck in the past but use it as a guide, having some of the past in our present is a good thing. It all comes down to proportion, right?

[Jessica Barnett]

It's difficult to explain the way I feel. I don't walk around thinking about what happened, but I was reading about someone else's experience and that made me think about it more.
It bothers me that even though I don't give a crap about him, if I saw him it would probably make me sick. That's how I feel about him.
I wouldn't want to go back and change anything, because I know I am who I am and where I am because of what happened in my past. BUT, I can still hope that he's in prison somewhere being some bad man's biyfriend, right? I'm really just believing in karma, and man, does he have things coming to him!

[fancyMelissa]

Great question! I think that subconsciously I let the story of my past drive much of how I manage my day to day life. And consciously, I focus too much on future to do lists, etc. Like Shirley, I am working to be Present in the Now, be aware of my surroundings always, and recognize the people in front of me.

[Laurie Hein]

Yep. Although I really try not to. It's really hard to let some things go and move on. I especially do this when things that happened yesterday affect today, tomorrow or the future.

[Jennifer Grant]

Here's me and what popped into my head today when as I finally turned to the page in the book that JUMPED out at me and spoke.

When in the heck will i start practicing (continually) what I preach??? I mean seriously folks---my life gets changed by books like this and by people who the words speak to (namely all of you and peeps such as yourself). When will i fully understand and live to the words always without mentally slipping 28 hours later!? Its very frustrating---the question jumped out at me because i have been flip flopping my confidence so much in the past 2 months...its like i have to keep threatening to myself just to keep putting one foot in front of the other some days.

Has anyone figured out how to combat this? really? please share--i don't just meant he standard 'kudos' or 'you can do its', but really, do you have a methodology for keeping positive, forward thinking thoughts going 24/7? I'm trying to ask myself what i would say if someone asked me and the only thing that comes to mind is it is a mental and personal decision. i dunno...its like KNOWING what you should do, but then sitting there watching yourself do the opposite! what the heck?

sorry if i'm supposed to be the positive one since i started this joy/motivation group, but hey--so, I'm a little self serving sometimes--is that always wrong? ;0)

[Nicole]

Way too often. I was just telling someone that I let yesterday get in the way of being present with my kids. Instead of letting go of bad yesterdays I tally them up and they keep repeating themselves.

In meeting with someone from my church today I had an a-ha. Especially when he reminded me that letting go of yesterday is all about forgiveness, forgiveness for the kids, myself, etc. God gives us grace and forgiveness unconditionally and it's how we should treat each other. How freeing it is to let go and know we can only participate in the now and know that only God knows what tomorrow brings and that we need to trust in that.

[Roseann]

This is way too signigficant a question for this week. Have you been looking over my shoulder? So much has been going on, and instead of letting go and getting on with it, I am so bogged down in going over and over stuff, I can't get anything done. My decision today was to just let this stuff go, and start new tomorrow. "Let go and let God" is what I decided I have to do.